Day 365

It has been exactly one year since Dennis was first diagnosed with cancer. It has been both the best and the worst year, the fastest and the slowest time. The year has been filled with these kinds of contradictions, changing our sense of time and space. We live in the present, always aware that the taste of a particular food, a warm shower, a nap taken together, a walk hand in hand, could be the last one taken. One never knows when that last time anything will happen, and so the present becomes so vividly real. This presentness is comforting, for the past and the future are too difficult to dwell upon.

Dennis continues to rest comfortably, surrounded by the love being showered on him from so many, keeping us lovingly in the present.

We wish you all a moment of true presentness today.

The Force

Dennis has slowed down considerably over the past four days and speaks only when necessary. He does so enjoy having the emails and comments that friends and family have sent read to him. He nods in acknowledgement as we read to him, his face softening. Members of the hospice team have separately commented on his strong and determined spirit. Dennis continues to be a force to be reckoned with.

An Evening at Home

We spent the evening exactly as Dennis wished, surrounded by his children and his brother, as we laughed and reminisced and watched one of Dennis' favorite movies, Dances With Wolves. Jessica has inherited Dennis' mark making ability, as witnessed by the sketches she has been making of him during the past few days.

Day 361

It is almost a year since Dennis was first diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He has been a true warrior throughout this journey.


His health has deteriorated quite a bit during the past few days but he continues to fight a brave battle.

Caring Hands

So many people have offered and given help to Dennis during the past few weeks. He so enjoys the visits he gets from friends and family, giving focus and meaning to his days. We are both so very grateful for the community of help.

Dennis continues to struggle with the accumulation of fluids, called ascites. They seem to be accumulating faster and the procedure to get rid of them more difficult to tolerate. He is needing more pain medications which have their difficult side effects.

Dennis is alone for about 3 hours every Tuesday and Thursday. He does need to be checked up on during the times I am away from home, so I am asking our community of friends to help with Dennis' care during these times. I have started a volunteer calendar on http://nac.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/621299/ if anyone is interested in helping us through this time.

Dennis continues to be a true warrior, rising everyday with verve and determination and never a complaint about his plight. He speaks about the blessed life that he continues to live, grateful for the time spent with loved ones. It is I that is blessed with the presence of such a bodhisattva.